48 Hours

I sent a telegraph to my family
“I won’t be home for the weekend,
Find me a nice tombstone
Bury me next to the inlaws.”

I sent a letter to my wife
“I won’t be there for our anniversary,
Give my things to goodwill
Tell the kids I’ll miss ‘em.”

I phoned up the president,
demanded his secretary put me through
She said he’s unavailable
for the next fourty-eight hours
He’s in confession, saying,
“father, I’ve sinned. I forgot
the most essential commandment,
‘thou shall not kill.’”