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I’ve tried converting these ways
into a religious fervor.
no use.
I have no god.

I’ve tried new eating habits
of devotion to the vegetable.
no use.
I have weakness for sugar.

I’ve tried pretending these bags
make friends with trees.
no use.
I have my own pollution to thank.

I’ve tried silence in these ears
and sound in this room
no use.
I have a lingering desire for company.

I’ve tried suppression of desire
to be someone truly well-known
no use.
I have a power complex.

I’ve tried reading, writing, studying, learning
and raking and shoveling and work.
no use.
I have no physical power.

I’ve tried rationalizing my own fears
of who I am and what I see.
no use.
I’m my own worst enemy.

I’ve tried a lot of things
meant to be instantaneous solutions
no use.
I have an understanding answers are not that simple.