confessional

(or, what I would post to Post Secret.)

• I once wrote my own calendar system. It started with the landing on the moon.
• I still imagine what it would have been like to have warped my house back to its original design when the clock struck 1990. I remember praying for that to happen. yes, praying.
• Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men’s song, “One Sweet Day,” was the #1 Billboard hit of all time. I knew this and the guy on Who Wants to be A Millionaire didn’t. I felt powerful.
• I bought a Mac for its physical appearance.
• I can sew my own buttons onto my dress shirts.
• I wish my fake Playdough wasn’t dried up, so that I could occasionally model it into something beyond the blank form it takes in its tiny containers. The containers hang out in my living room, doing their thing.
• I had a dream many years ago about someone getting murdered behind my house at the bar. This may have likely arisen in my subconscious from all the partying at the bar over the years that strangely enough, if you grow up next to a bar, you don’t notice. I then told kids at school that the woman actually died. I was challenged on this years later. I wonder if the one kid in particular felt horrified because he had no dad, and wondered if his dad was ever murdered at that bar…
• I still can remember the visualizations of a nightmare from age 5. The people from Sharon, Lois and Bram were singing a song about a crocodile coming to get me, and I can faintly hear the song as well as visualize the crocodile.
• I heard two full complete Tori Amos albums in two separate dreams and woke up and still had faint recollections of their melodies. I wonder sometimes if we’ll ever be able to read memory well enough to be able to extract those melodies and turn them into something tangible.
• My love for Quebec competes with my love for Saskatchewan only because Quebec gave me one of the first opportunities to really find out who I want to be in life. And who I want to know.
• I love property rights even though I violate them all the time. I really love my CD collection.
• I’m not making it up when I think about the experience of life on a daily basis. It’s what gets me through whatever grind is stalling normal development.