desperate need for improvement

i’m not sure what it is about my need to be better
but I am desperate for improvement.

i hate the dust that lingers on shelves
and fret about the fact that guests may also hate such dust.

i hate the mosquito bites on my legs
and worry about the fact that my untanned legs have red dots.

i hate the inconsistencies of arguments
and despair over my growing apprehension of all that is politics

and I hate the desperation I feel
and doubt that it can all be cured in a very limited, unknown timespan.

and what is this all about?
insecurity
uneasiness
and the truth.

the truth
it seems
says I need to chill.

and I am not sure if my desperate need for improvement
contains such a reaction plan to do just that.