evaporate

the necessity of being around people
my own age
older than I
younger than I
is kind of evident.
so why do my three phones linger between rings?

I like the day.
the day brings sunshine and chirping
and green as far as eyes wander

but the night
with its elegant drapery in the sky
and the comforting stillness
and relaxation
brings such futility to everything.
as if the vapid moments are not bothered
to even exist.

as in,
give up, I dare you. value yourself
beyond your longer term mutual funds
and see what you have accumulated in this life.

is it worth a drop in the bucket of this
global economy?
is it worth a spec of dust in this
galactic expansion?

probably not,
says the pessimist.
and ends there.

probably not,
says the optimist.
but maybe there is something here
that this global economy might need
or this galactic expansion might miss
if I was to evaporate.