focus

somewhere along the line
the temptation to solve it
and save it
and fend for the future
became a little misplaced.

focus
the icicles hanging
the steamed milk in expensive lattes
the observation of foreign languages
the collection of new music
alternative focus

the littleness of these hands
they feel so insignificant
their connection to reality
wanted to be there.
but rather, it?s long long severed.

I thought many things.
I still do.
the confusion of those contemplations
only serves to build the case
for a need for focus.

when you?re consumed with
obsession
like jealousy
the dirty glasses resting on my cheeks
leave little to be seen.

I can?t think straight
when the idea moulds itself into
every thought.
I can?t breath freshly
when the scent is always shaded
and fermenting.
I can?t be myself
when the person I visualize isn?t
who I am.

focus
the soymilk breakfasts
the green silicone casing on the ipod
the snowdrifts no longer being shoveled
the newfound fascination with socializing
alternative focus

but the future!
the temptation to fall ill and fake
the need to rest. to hide in a fort
to revel in the simplicity of this complicated
existence
is so great. is so bloody great.

I just want to pick up a package
of solutions
as complicated as a travel insurance policy
tacked onto the bill when I?m off to paradise.
that precise and
unencumbered fix.
I just want it to be laid out and mapped
and I pretend often I am somehow
already laden with compass and whistle.

if this is balance
I wonder how faltering I?d feel
to be tipping to one side.
I like the way I can wake and
face the day.
I like the way I can justify just about
anything, really.
but I hate the way the stuttering starts
when I?m put into a box
(usually self-erected)
and forced to find a means of escape.

focus
random walks around the lake
structured, strong-worded directions
confidence
blank CDs waiting to be filled
the magical notion of company in this
alternative focus

somewhere along the line
I falter like my comrades.
thankfully, I know deep down
what gear I need to shift into
to get out of any rut.
I just wish I was more focused
on that ability
instead of the obvious attention
to the barricades.