god, if you're listening, you don't exist

it’s not so much a matter of distrust
I have the understanding that
I am beneath that level of comprehension

consider this
leaves are translucent for measurable reasons
ice cream delights for the same
puppies love children because of the obvious
but existence?

it’s irrational to think trust is even worth being earned
when there is
no proof
no evidence
and no trail to the source.
and I am determined to prevent the bread crumbs’
leading to the elusive castle.
the intangible sanctuary.
the impossible HEAVEN.

it’s not a matter where I can break free of this clamshell
and be open to the scooping of my core
I don’t want to wade out and leave myself hanging
the gallows have had better purposes than finding
inconclusive endings to discovery.

consider the company
the fill they must feel in the pit of their stomachs
when they devour their own
when their flesh competes for the hatred that satisfies their hunger
for personal redemption: the dichotomy perplexes.

maybe the guilt we carry
and the burden of existence
find roots burrowing in the pyramid
and are finding nutrition in the thought of being key stones
after all, trampling species has never equated with negative
besides hindsight

and if that’s the case
let me sew the seeds
let me open the windows
let me clear the table
let me get things straight
that the path does not lead to your door.