guilt

for wishing for more.
for hoping that some day I’ll be happier.
for eating too many sweets.
for feeling fat.
for buying into their bullshit.
for shopping at big box stores.
for driving.
for not composting.
for not doing my laundry soon enough.
for eating processed food.
for forgetting to include others in conversations.
for forgetting my privilege is always here.
for wishing for different circumstances.
for not being able to share all of my secrets with those closest to me.
for thinking the future will somehow change things.
for not working out.
for stealing songs.
for not reading enough of my books.
for forgetting to write my ideas down.
for thinking I’ve accomplished anything.
for not cooking more.
for not volunteering in the inner city.
for thinking of the inner city as a separate entity from my home.
for not biking to work every day.
for drinking non-fair trade coffee.
for not donating my clothes to others.
for selfishly reflecting on what my money can buy me.
for not cleaning my room.
for having anger at a whole religion.
for failing to understand the viewpoints of others.
for developing the emotion of hate towards others.
for not protesting enough.
for not sharing the urgency of causes with others.
for my infrequent visits to the farmers’ market.
for shopping in shopping malls.
for ruining magic tricks for others.
for my internet addictions.
for not going to grad school sooner.
for find the easy way through life.
for not visiting my relatives more frequently.
for pretending to like people just to have a larger group of acquaintances.
for not dedicating myself to more causes.
for not fighting for the little guy.
for slacking off on life for two years of university.
for thinking my circumstances were not what they are.
for wishing for rhetoric to become reality one too many times.
for being blind to the manipulative effects of others.
for dedicating myself to things I don’t stand for.
for losing my ability to take firm stances.
for forgetting my past wonderful moments.
for gossiping too much about people I shouldn’t care about.
for not making my website more accessible to others.
for not fulfilling my volunteer commitments.
for having to write a list of guilt.

kg / august 21 /2006: 9:04 pm