nothing's ever satisfying

to a mind that has too many opportunities
to be amused
nothing’s ever satisfying.

the walk through the mall
where moral superiority trumps trendy pepe jeans sweaters
or headphones engulfing the craniums of mouth-dropped men
means
nothing’s ever satisfying.

the parking job in front of seniors
where the swift movement of my wrists
equals the first successful parallel park in over eight years
still doesn’t cut it.
nothing’s ever satisfying.

the cookies, the milkshakes,
the cheesecake left over from a well-celebrated birthday.
all devoured by a collection of sweet teeth
begging for more.
nothing’s ever satisfying.

the computers, in white,
silver,
whatever their colour or curvy shape.
with more memory, more space, more opportunity,
more speed, more punch, more passion.
more.
nothing’s ever satisfying.

the music
in tones I think I hear at night
dreamt up by a mind hellbent on eternal damnation–
why did I have to hear a new Tori Amos album only in my sleep?–
the collection and organization and the impeccable taste,
be damned.
nothing’s ever satisfying.

the writing
that fills out these moments of insomnia
of boredom
of dully stirred points in the day that otherwise would evaporate
never seems to be enough, or complete, or even good.
nothing’s ever satisfying.

the quantity
and quality
and majestic nature of everything.
the overpowering aroma of life,
the colours of the leaves and filtered lenses and blobs of my lava lamp
and dreams! the flying dreams!
and nicely made beds and warm homes and cosy couches
and friendly neighbours and laughing dogs and cute kittens
and rampant consumerism and excessive spending and
disgustingly large slices of pizza and trips to the moon and
the investigation of the ancient world and the mountain tops crumbling and the
icebergs melting and the children screaming and the
water fountains cooling and the deaths that bring living
and the whole intensity of the world that we live.
and yet here we are.
a society, an individual, a man who ends his night in conclusion:
nothing’s ever satisfying.