nutrition

what sheer imperfection
this happiness was
folded shirts,
emancipated lungs,
rolled sleeves
muddy knees.

the glory of not really knowing
what reality was.
enrique, oh how close
to right you were,
other than you said
what else.

I always knew the other.
the else always came,
storming up the sewer pipes if necessary,
the ragged, the rough,
the tousled and teased
the desires to be
normal.

now, leaves on their
decomposing death beds
love me.
now, exhaust fumes from
carbon emitting SUVs
love me.
now, coffee stains on
white shirts, searching for laundering
love me.
now, fonts too blocky, standard, crisp, professional,
for that critic of yonder
love me.
now, retail establishments lost before in their search
for my customer appreciation
love me.

I always knew something was
missing even in the
chromatic spectrum I had
felt fully indulged in
of emotional colour.

looked far.
traveled.
even gave up meat.
took the red, blue, green,
yellow pills that came
before me,
figuratively or not.

the experiences
couldn’t accumulate fast enough.

and I got by, oh yes.
a diet of McDonald’s,
or doughnuts, will maintain
the caloric quantities
necessary to keep
hunger at bay.

but full nutrition
needs a little more attention.
I thought, secretly,
a multivitamin here or there
would keep me afloat.
a swim in the waving suds on occasion,
would sustain my strokes.

how little, minutely,
pathetically little
I knew about sustenance.

all I want,
all I’ve ever wanted,
all I ever will need,
is now here.
I’ve been and am
nutrified.