partially digested

what have I missed here that you’ve been saying
I can’t reflect more on this evening and see why
that lashing of emotions
is not how I would feel
deconstruction of a friendship is
visceral
but isn’t anything that is reactionary?

and to think I could incite such a
level of jealousy
makes me wonder how clueless you’ve been
all this time about my granted level of trust

what have I done to deserve it
I don’t know
I do know everything I have done
is anything but void of imperfections
but confusion inspired by good intentions
can’t be counted against me.

and we will pull over to the side of the road
so you can vomit away whatever hurt you find
infecting your insides
why does mine linger here, partially digested?
is that all every contribution I’ve ever given
is worth?